


How Does One Comfort A Sinner?

by Queen_Ags



Series: Satya and Hanzo on the run together [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gosh i love it, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Making Out, but angst is so much better, this could've been sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 13:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11036838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Ags/pseuds/Queen_Ags
Summary: Satya learns more of Vishkar's crimes. Hanzo is reminded of his family's. Maybe a kiss could make it better?





	How Does One Comfort A Sinner?

Satya had been reading a lot on her phone. She would do it every meal, when they were on the bus or train and in hotels. Hanzo didn’t mind. They often walked quietly together so it wasn’t much different. One time he asked what she was reading. She simply mumbled ¨news¨. Hanzo wondered what news could possibly be so interesting. He knew Satya often lost herself in thought and thus in text but to this degree was a bit ridiculous. He’d wake in the middle of the night, look over to her bed and saw the muted light from the phone lighting her face up. Another thing that added to the strangeness was that she had a stern expression when she read. As if the content was a thorn in her side. Despite having made-out, they weren’t at the point where they could prod into each other’s business. Hanzo valued privacy and much didn’t arouse his curiosity. Except this was Satya, whom was infinitely interesting. There was a reason why he was so bold as to make a move on her. One day at a cafe he couldn’t take it anymore. Years of spy work had lead to that moment. As he walked to his seat at the table Satya sat, he peeked.

 

_The result of Vishkar’s work in Haiti is better housing and repressed culture._

 

Hanzo might as well have walked in on her naked. It was far too private. He knew cause his own guilts were far too private. He sat down feeling uneasy.

 

¨Are you going to eat,¨ he asked. He had to get her attention away.

¨Mm.¨ Satya grabbed her sandwich and kept reading as she ate.

 

Hanzo looked at her for an extra moment. Perhaps her training in formality would do the trick.

 

¨It’s rude to look at your phone while your eating with someone,¨ said Hanzo.

¨We eat together all the time,¨ she mumbled.

 

She blinked as if she realized what she had said after having uttered it. She hastily put away the phone.

 

¨Forgive me,¨ she said and gave an apologetic bow with her head.

¨You are forgiven,¨ Hanzo teased.

 

Satya’s expression grew in guilt.

 

¨I am sorry for being so rude.¨ She kept her head down.

¨No, no,¨ Hanzo tried to stifle a chuckle, ¨it’s not as bad as you think.¨

 

Satya took a second to think before her brow furrowed in irritation.

 

¨Don’t scare me like that,¨ she said.

 

Hanzo tried not to smile. Her mannerisms were indeed cute. If his teasing made her think of something else, he had succeeded. They didn’t say much more. Merely enjoining each other’s company. Well, not quite. It didn’t take long until Satya’s stern expression returned. Hanzo thought hard on how to help her. It wouldn't work to outright ask her. She wouldn't tell him anything that way. What would he even say to begin with? He thought back to his own experience, but he found no words. He gave up thinking about it. He wouldn’t figure something good out anyway. But the thoughts were stubborn and wouldn’t let his mind rest. In the end, he did something terribly bold.

 

¨Now that you’ve been out in the world, have you learned anything new about Vishkar,¨ Hanzo asked. 

 

He immediately regretted it as Satya’s chewing slowed down. She took her time to swallow and wipe her mouth.

 

¨Yes,¨ she answered, low and rigid.

¨How does it feel?¨ 

 

He almost swallowed the words. He felt so stupid. Satya took a second to answer. Her brow creased a tiny bit.

 

¨Enlightening.¨

 

She took another bite of the sandwich, signaling that she wasn’t interesting in furthering the conversation. The way her expression developed, her tone of voice; it was painfully relatable. He almost didn’t want to look at her. It was as if seeing himself. It was a certain kind of bitterness that one could even taste. It settled in one’s throat and served more to stab oneself than the organization one had been apart of. Hanzo shook it off. Too many feelings from the past were rushing back, and emotions were exhausting. All he wanted was to take the pain away from her, but that was impossible.

 

After some smalltalk, they sat quietly on the train. Hanzo studied Satya as she leaned on the window and looked out. She was circling her finger on the cushion, probably finding the texture relaxing. The light reflected beautifully on her dark skin. Her sharp, distinct profile was a joy to look at. He wanted to run a knuckle down her cheek. Of course, PDA was not something either of them were fond of. This was one of the rare occasions they were riding legally. For that one-hour trip, Hanzo could pretend they were normal people. They had talked about different ways to cook rice. They both laughed at their misfortune over being so horrible at it. After all rice cookers were a thing. Hanzo adored talking to her. He repeated their conversation several times in his mind. Satya’s laughter, hand gestures and tone of voice. He had accepted that he was in love. What would that lead to, though? She had a set destination. He was just an aimless wanderer. Settling down was not only impossible but an unjust wish for him.

 

Satya brought out her phone and Hanzo’s chest tensed up. He acted inconspicuous but kept an eye on the screen. She put on earplugs and started to watch some documentary about Vishkar. He waved in front of her eyes. She pulled out an earplug and looked at him.

 

¨Are you sure you want to watch that,¨ Hanzo asked.

 

Satya looked at him quizzically, as if his question was stupid. The look was almost condescending.

 

¨I have to,¨ she answered.

 

With sharp eyes and a sure tone, Hanzo was reminded of his own responsibility. He had been an absolute idiot to have asked that question. Of course she had to. She was a good person after all; someone who worked to atone.

 

¨Forgive me,¨ he said.

 

Satya nodded and didn’t think much of it. She went back to viewing. One could not see it from just looking at Hanzo, but anxiety swirled in his stomach. His heart beat harder as thoughts piled up. He had learned over the years the harm his family had caused, but he never addressed it. As the coward he is, he sought to stay blind to it. He bit the inside of his cheek. To realize new sins time and time again, that was the formula of his life. It weighed on his mind and exhausted him. It was like a mountain that he had to be break down and all he had was one hammer. Hanzo pulled out his phone. It would hurt more but at least he would at least chip it a bit.

 

_The Shimada family killed my son and left his family bankrupt._

 

It was the title of one of the most popular articles on the search. Hanzo took a deep breath and tapped on it. The trip was long and arduous. It was a thick and serious atmosphere between the two fugitives. Satya was bouncing her leg but Hanzo was too focused and guilt-ridden to ask her to stop. Their expressions were tense. It felt like ants were feasting on their intestines. Eventually Satya put her phone away and repeatedly ran her fingers through her hair. Hanzo went from the third to the fourth article. When the conductor announced the arrival in 15 minutes, he finally put it away. Neither of them spoke, heads too cluttered to think of anything else. If they had noticed, they would’ve been comforted by how in sync they were. They didn’t even need to look at each other as they exited the train.

 

—

 

Hanzo’s body felt like it was turning into sludge. As he looked at his own arms they were solid but there was some kind of noise blurring them. Then it was the screams, the accusations, the wrath of betrayal. He couldn’t look away from his mother’s face. She had a fury like a demon’s. It was too much, his head was flowing with every sin she brought up. When he finally managed to tear his gaze away, he saw Genji instead. His skin was pale and dry, his hair was falling off. Blood gushing out of a large cut on his chest. Blending into this horrific form was Genji’s normal self. Obnoxious green hair, perfect skin and stylish clothing. Tears were streaming down his face. He looked like a child desperately calling for help. He fell down on his knees and begged for mercy. The shout resounded and shook Hanzo’s very existence. He opened his mouth and felt his lungs straining but no sound left his mouth. He tried again and again to say sorry but something forced the words back down his throat. He tried to close his eyes but he couldn’t. Genji wailed and his mother was too scary to even look at.

 

Hanzo woke up inhaling deeply. His shirt and the sheets were damp. He blinked a few times. His eyelids were heavy but wouldn’t stay closed. His stomach was twisted. He felt the mental exhaustion in his muscles. The dream felt like reality for the first half-second. It faded into a blurry memory. A few seconds after processing all the sensations, he noticed a line of light on the wall. It was welcomed, as it turned Hanzo’s attention to something else. He followed it, turned around and saw that the door to the bathroom was ajar. Satya wasn’t in her bed either. Hanzo got up and quietly moved to the door. He heard low, struggled breaths. He knocked carefully. Satya gasped. He must’ve caught her in a most unfortunate moment.

 

¨Sorry. Did I wake you?¨ She sounded normal.

¨No. I woke up by myself. Are you okay?¨

¨Yes. Just needed to drink some water.¨

 

It was a bad lie and she knew it. Hanzo didn’t know what to do but leaving her alone wasn’t an option.

 

¨Come. Sit down with me,¨ he said.

¨It’s okay, go back to bed.¨

¨I can’t sleep either way.¨

 

A moment of silence and a deep breath later, she came out. She kept her head down and Hanzo didn’t want to force a glance at her eyes. They sat down by the small table. It felt awkwardly formal, the way they sat on each end. Satya placed her elbows on the table, folded her hands, and rested her mouth against them. It was dark and with Satya’s hair casting a shade on her face, Hanzo couldn’t see her expression. He felt helpless and stupid. She was a melancholic sight. Her posture wasn’t proud but rather defeated. It was silent with questions and feelings looming over the two. Neither knew how one dealt with these things.

 

¨What did that documentary say,¨ Hanzo asked, voice low.

¨They interviewed a girl whose parents were forced to work with Vishkar,¨ she said as if she was merely reporting something.

 

What could Hanzo possibly say to that? That it wasn’t her fault? She enabled Vishkar to do that. 

 

¨You can do better,¨ he said carefully, as if it might have been offensive.

¨The world is not as inclined to forgive me.¨

¨Then show that you are worth forgiving.¨

 

She chuckled.

 

¨I don’t know where you get that idea.¨ she finally looked at him with a somber smile. ¨You may like me but to the world, and to justice, I’m a horrible person.¨

 

Anxiety bubbled in Hanzo’s chest. Her words made imprints on his heart. He hated how she called out his own situation. She didn’t deserve to be compared to him. Yet that was the truth. Both of them were horrible people. There was immense comfort in that. For once Hanzo wasn’t alone. He gazed at her. Her form was exuding cold, and beauty. It couldn’t be so clean cut. Not with her. She was kind and giving. Several times on their journey she had given of herself to total strangers. She couldn’t possibly be an all out bad person. She desired to help people. However, Hanzo didn’t know how to convey those thoughts. She wouldn’t listen. What did he want when he was feeling this gut-wrenching guilt? He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to suffer his nightmares by himself.

 

Hanzo walked over to Satya’s side. She looked up, looking crushed and lost. He hovered his finger just below her chin. He made a point to not look directly in her eyes. They were filled with a little more life as he did this.

 

¨Do you want me to kiss you,¨ he asked softly, yet his desire was clear.

 

Satya stood up and faced him, eyes looking at his mouth. She nodded. Hanzo carefully rested his hands on her arms and leaned forward. He started with a soft touch of his lips, which sent an electric current through him. He deepened it, thrill filling his chest. She responded likewise, and laid her human hand on the nape of his neck. Hanzo licked her lower lip. Satya took it a step further. She surprised him as she bit his lower lip and pulled. Hanzo inhaled sharply. When she let go he went for a hunger-filled kiss and pushed her against his body. Her soft breasts pressing against him was more than welcoming. With minuscule breaks for air, they kissed each other intently. Satya gripped tightly to his shirt, fingers digging into his skin. He delighted over the fact that that would leave marks. Hanzo pulled away, panting. Satya’s chest was heaving deeply, a beautiful sight. He went for her neck, lips adding pressure slowly. Her skin was so wonderfully warm.

 

Satya pushed him back. Despite the beautiful song of their heavy breaths, Hanzo was immediately concerned. He repressed it, but part of him was disappointed and yearned for her. Satya wiped her lips and scrunched her eyes as if in deep shame. She turned around and hid her face in her hands. Hanzo was at a loss. He bit his lip, realizing he had done something horribly wrong. He didn't dare to speak.

 

"I," Satya had difficulty speaking, "I can't indulge in this."

 

Hanzo's chest hurt. 

 

"I don't deserve it."

 

He felt a cold push out all the warmth. He wanted to grab her, kiss her, mark her neck, feel her soft skin and say that she could and should indulge. That was mere lust speaking. She spoke common sense. He closed his eyes and ran a hand down his face. He licked his lips in a final attempt to have her. He wanted to vomit; he was so disgusted with himself. He had so desperately tried to figure out what to say and do. He had only succeeded in making her feel worse. He was tired of all the emotions and running around like an idiot trying to address them. If he could only stop thinking of himself for once. He looked at Satya. She had turned half-way, biting her thumb. Her brow was furrowed in anger. Her eyes was full of thoughts. Once again he hated how he saw himself in her. She was recounting all the crimes she had committed and the absurdity of asking for forgiveness. She didn't seem to remember all the helpful things she's done. Unlike him, she was kind-hearted enough to be able to atone. Even if she didn't listen, he had to say it, as an apology for what he had done.

 

"You can do better."

 

Satya looked at him, then down in thought. She made some noise, resembling a "huh" in tone. Either she was scoffing or reluctantly agreeing. She needed to get her mind off of these things. Hanzo brought up the iPad and clicked on the Tetris app. He placed it on the table.

 

"Play until sleep gets to you."

 

Satya breathed a laugh.

 

"You make it sound like I'm a child."

 

"Well, you are pouting," Hanzo teased, "or you can stim until you fall asleep. We need to have energy for tomorrow."

 

She chuckled but sat down and grabbed the iPad.

 

"It's scary how well you know me."

 

"It's scary how well _you_ know _me_."

 

"Mm?" She looked quizzically at him. "I know next to nothing about you. It would be a nice change of pace if you were in utter despair instead of me."

 

"Would that make you feel better?"

 

"Immensely."

 

Hanzo laughed.

 

"I was bewitched by this beautiful dark haired lady, with skin so warm she could melt the coldest of hearts."

 

"I'm a bit confused but I'm guessing you mean me?"

 

"Always you."

 

Hanzo kissed her on the forehead and went to bed.

 

"Don't stay up too late."

 

"I only need to reach level twenty."

 

Satya started playing. The sound was off but it didn't take long until she was humming the theme song. It was fortunate, otherwise Hanzo would be full of agonizing shame and guilt. He fell asleep surprisingly fast. Despite all the thoughts of sin, he felt he wouldn't mind to kill again. If that was the prize to pay to have her sing lullabies.

**Author's Note:**

> Hot diggity dang I love writing these two


End file.
